From Judy:
I had a melt down last night. That is the third time. I couldn't sleep so, I got up and unloaded the dishwasher, then went back to bed. I still couldn't sleep,
I got up and played games on my computer. I still could not sleep. That went on for several hours. I kept thinking about some really sad and really hard things that are happening in our family at this time. Things that have nothing to do with what's going on in my body.
About 3:00 am, I went into the living room and just sat there in the dark. Suddenly the tears came and then the sobs. I felt completly 'out of gas'. Why was God letting all this stuff happen, especially at this time? I begged Him to do something. I told Him that I needed to see that He knows about all this stuff. My history and faith knew that He was aware of everything, but my heart hurt.
Finally I went to bed about 4:00....nothing resolved. I must have fallen asleep right away.
This afternoon God moved and let me get a glimpse into how he was working behind the scene. It was a small thing in the worlds eyes, but hugh in my eyes right now. How very dear and sweet He is.
My friend,Olevia',called and told me about something that was said in Bible study 20
yrs.ago and how when she gets like I was last night, she just thinks about God picking her up and holding her in His rocking chair. I had spent hours sitting in a yellow chair when I could have been in His lap!!!!!!
This whole thing has been quite a ride. I hope I learn something everyday...something that will cause me to crawl up in His lap and just go to sleep and let Him run the world.
Judy
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Judy,
ReplyDeleteAs I read your entry with tears in my eyes I was reminded of the testimony you gave in Abilene at the Christian Women's luncheon. Yours has been a journey of faith and evidence of God's presence in your life. Melt downs come yet He binds us together again.
We went to the church where my mother and daddy attended in Estes yesterday. The sermon text was the book of Habakkak. Chapter 3:18-19 is a declaration of faith and trust. When we cry out, Why? He is there. Although the world is crashing in, He is there. When we can't sleep, He is there. What a great lap!
Know our prayers continue for you and your precious family.
Oh, My Sweet Friend! Thanks for sharing about God's lap...I must remember that for all the sleepless nights I experience. I've found that I spend those nights praying for those around me, but sometimes feel completely selfish because my prayers are for those whom I love. Not that that's a bad thing, but I should be praying for those I may not love and those that do not know the Father. Why else would He awaken me??
ReplyDeleteWhat a journey we are on in this life...I'm definitely blessed and humbled to be traveling it with you. Thanks for your wisdom and constant mentoring. I love you!
Robin
Meditation is my safe place, Judy. I can vaguely make JC out and I can rest my head on his shoulders, which are quite broad. The prayer of protection is in order to pull me thru, and I've had some pretty close ones. Sorry you are experiencing those dumb melt downs. Sometimes they're like a bad cold, and you can't shake 'um. Sounds like you have some special company, though. I've prayed for your other trials and tribulations 'ole friend.
ReplyDeleteI heard a story about monkey brain. That's what you had a few nights ago...Monkey Brain. It's when your brain just won't shut off. My friend told her kids that, "I'm tired, I had Monkey Brain last night". Her 13 year old daughter, with disgust on her face, said, "For dinner?".
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