Melt Down

From Judy:
I had a melt down last night. That is the third time. I couldn't sleep so, I got up and unloaded the dishwasher, then went back to bed. I still couldn't sleep,
I got up and played games on my computer. I still could not sleep. That went on for several hours. I kept thinking about some really sad and really hard things that are happening in our family at this time. Things that have nothing to do with what's going on in my body.

About 3:00 am, I went into the living room and just sat there in the dark. Suddenly the tears came and then the sobs. I felt completly 'out of gas'. Why was God letting all this stuff happen, especially at this time? I begged Him to do something. I told Him that I needed to see that He knows about all this stuff. My history and faith knew that He was aware of everything, but my heart hurt.
Finally I went to bed about 4:00....nothing resolved. I must have fallen asleep right away.
This afternoon God moved and let me get a glimpse into how he was working behind the scene. It was a small thing in the worlds eyes, but hugh in my eyes right now. How very dear and sweet He is.
My friend,Olevia',called and told me about something that was said in Bible study 20
yrs.ago and how when she gets like I was last night, she just thinks about God picking her up and holding her in His rocking chair. I had spent hours sitting in a yellow chair when I could have been in His lap!!!!!!

This whole thing has been quite a ride. I hope I learn something everyday...something that will cause me to crawl up in His lap and just go to sleep and let Him run the world.
Judy